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Ask for help

Updated: 18 Sept 2019

# indie making

# 14 of 27


Asking for help is giving genuine importance to the other person and valuing their opinions.

Why? How?

Let me guess, you’re not a huge fan of asking for help?

I’m not either.

In fact, I strongly dislike it.

Two reasons. The first is that I fear that I am bothering the other person. Why would they spend their time giving me free advice? The second is that I believe I can do it all alone. Others look like they can, so why not me?

These two reasons are BS. And not asking for help will hurt your career, whether in corporate or entrepreneurship.

Why? Because people actually LIKE helping and because you can’t do it ALL alone.

When you ask someone for help, whether practical tips, life advice, or career guidance, you’re signalling that you value their opinion. You imply that you respect and admire their path enough so you want their opinions. You essentially want to know what they did or would do.

And people love that.

Most people, myself included, like getting compliments. We enjoy feeling valued. So if given the opportunity, we enjoy helping others.

Then there is a nobler reason why most people like helping out. They feel that they are paying it forward.

Not everyone believes in karma, but most people believe in acts of kindness. Since it’s proven that being selfless generates feelings of happiness, it explains why people enjoy helping.

So as long as you’re not asking for more than a few minutes of their time, you’ll find that the overwhelming majority of people are willing to help.

And why should you ask for help?

Because as talented and strong as you are, it’s likely that you can’t do it all alone.

At the heart, we are tribe animals. We evolved in small tribes, where tasks were distributed and all members formed a strong emotional support network.

Our modern life has divided us. We are more lonely than ever. So instead of retreating in our corners, we should reach out to each other and rebuild some of these ancestral connections.

And since every one of us has talents, why not leverage other people’s talents to move faster?

So ask for help. Ask for clarification. Ask for advice.

You’ll get new perspective, practical tips, and unexpected support. You’ll learn to put your ego aside. And most importantly, you’ll feel much better.



Léa Oriol

I'm the CEO of Mivvy, a platform where women learn high-value skills from female experts. I'm a software engineer, product maker, and design geek. Let's connect.